Thursday, January 17, 2008

i live this for

i am a thief and a liar. i have taken what was not given to me and claimed it as mine. i live this for self. i act as though all i know is striving for self gain. i follow what leads to nothing and ignore the effect of what is ahead. i find myself clinging to everything for momentary reprieve. when endless relief is right in front of me. the warmness of a light on a cold night directly in front of me, i merely glance at. tonight i have found the cold emptyness because i have lived this for self.

the lies my words make match the ones i hear and believe. these things that fulfill temporarily without fully filling. i neglect what is shattering the silence saying to me, "help is here, follow and believe." yet i still turn to what is empty and leading me to nothing. i walk the road with an end when an endless way is in front of me. i find only what i wish to find. i envision only what i hope to see. when the reality of what could be is much greater. i forget the unending hope that's always abided. the love chasing me that has always befriended me, seeking me. for this love only can provide. this love only satisfies.

from the mouth of this love come words of truth. my path finds light with this love only. my heart finds pleasure with this love only. my soul finds rest with this love only. my life finds purpose with this love only. no longer will i live this for self. no longer will i follow what is momentary. for this life is fleeting in itself. now my heart will seek the love and my soul will yearn for the truth, that only this love brings. no longer i live this for self, rather this love.

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